“Be diligent in serving the poor. Love the poor, honor them, my children, as you would honor Christ Himself.”
St. Louise de Marillac
Celebrating International Peace Month: Practicing Nonviolence in Verbal Conflicts
By Sebastian Isaacs, Communications intern
August is International Peace Month, a time to practice nonviolence and to advocate for peace globally, domestically, and in our daily lives. While peace advocacy is often associated with promoting nonviolence against global war and militarism, learning how to promote peace in personal relationships can serve as an important first step toward advocating for issues on a larger scale.
Understanding the meaning of nonviolence is essential to learning how to practice it. The Metta Center for Nonviolence describes nonviolence as “love in action” or “the constructive equivalent to destructive drives.” Relying on compassion and love to resolve conflict rather than acting upon feelings of fear and anger is how you can practice nonviolence not only in physical altercations, but also in conversations.
One way to practice peacemaking in challenging verbal conflicts is through the five-step CLARA Method of de-escalation:
1. Calm and Center:
When feeling threatened by what someone says, it can be difficult to think of anything but your own response. It is important to pause, breathe, and center yourself to effectively listen.
2. Listen.
Rather than listening with the intent to find faults in someone’s argument, the CLARA Method invites you to listen for the moral principle behind their words. By identifying a feeling or experience you share, you open your heart and create a genuine connection.
3. Affirm:
Express to the other person what connection you have found – whether it’s a feeling, experience, or a principle. Affirm any reasonable issue or fear that you can find in the other person’s statement.
Finding common ground can be difficult when you are feeling hurt. Remembering a few simple phrases of affirmation can help when you struggle with what to say.
Telling the other person, “I agree with you about …” or “I’m concerned about that too” can help you establish a connection. Saying, “I really respect you for …” or “I’ve felt like that too” shows the other person that you are hearing and connecting with them, rather than only responding to their argument.
4. Respond or Reveal:
Answer the other person’s question or issue, even if it means you are losing some ground. Speaking respectfully is important to establishing that you are not reacting with destructive emotions. Using personal insights and experiences often reaches others in a way that facts do not.
5. Add information:
Sharing additional information may help redirect the conversation in a more positive direction. This is the time to share facts, offer personal anecdotes or provide resources.
Peacefully resolving conflicts can be challenging, but being intentional about what you say – and the attitude that you bring – is essential when practicing nonviolence. In the spirit of International Peace Month, take time to reflect on how you can embrace a life of nonviolence, starting with the way you speak.
Sources: The Metta Center for Nonviolence and CLARA Method
Contact Us
The post Celebrating International Peace Month: Practicing Nonviolence in Everyday Conversations first appeared on Sisters of Charity.